Shit music just ain't worth making
Smiles and thank-you's just ain't worth faking
Some a$$#oles hands ain't worth shaking
And if it's not broken we need to break it.
There's no such thing as 'unconditional',no contracts bind you in the end.
Make no mistake,this is a killing ground,blood hungry and camouflaged as 'friend'.
Selec yes,at the end of this mess,if you get there and it's your only option left.
These days I don't know the people I'm supposed to trust
And I don't trust these people that I'm supposed to know..
The handlebars on all my dreams,
they slowly start to rust..
I don't mean this in a hateful way,
But when the people you love,
start walking 'away',
The world gets harder each and every day,
Take your last bite before it crumbles away
There's something inside me I just have to say..
Love nothing,
Trust no one,
Just 'live' for the damn day..

或许吧..
从始至今...我本来就是那样一个人...
也或许是我外层的保护色做的太出色了..
连我自己都被骗过了..
当我静下来好好想想..
没错..
我是一个自我利益很重的人...
不管什么事，我都以自己的脚步出发..
一个自我为中心的人..

也许是被现实 “宠坏” 了..
要生存，就必须不择手段..
活着，就必须保证自己可以走到最后..
那么，最主要的就是利己..
不管什么事..
排除一切拥有威胁的可能性..
以确保自己能达到目标..
而这些可能性..
最讽刺的..包括朋友...

或许天性如此..
自己早就知道不适合与别人相处..
能相聚的时刻，总是少说些话...
以免一出口就说错了话...
把自己 “伪装” ..
融入人群...
即使对自己看不顺眼的事情，也当做没这回事..
能忍则忍..
更习惯把自己的想法隐藏起来..
不喜欢说心里话...

或许..
这是自我..
亦是本我..
不喜欢在人前表露出太多感情..
就因为害怕往后别人那一句..
“我懂你” ..
我很卑鄙..
我的世界...
或许不需要人懂..
也可能我不喜欢别人懂...

You meet a guy, randomly start talking one day, he compliments you on everything he can: "your gorgeous", "your cute" etc.. He asks about your past relationships, you tell him you've been hurt before he says "i would never hurt you", you tell him some funny life stories, he tells you his. He starts flirting ad you start to think he's a really nice guy, you then flirt back. He asks for your pin/number, you give either to him staright away. Now every morning he says good morning and tells you to have a good day. Quickly; speaking to him becomes your daily routine, you count on him speaking to you, and when ever he does you smile instantly, he asks you about your day and you speak all night. The night conversations are ALWAYS the best. He always asks you if your tired or you want to go to sleep, but you say no and stay.. Just to talk to him. Now, he wants to meet you so you meet him and now that you have you like him even more, you now get butterflies every time he speaks to you/meet him. You now tell your friends how much you like him, they tell him you like him becuase you feel it would ruin everything if you do it, he then tells you he likes you too. Your over the moon, you feel like the happiest girl alive! Then, one day, he randomly stops talking to you and you're left wondering why. You know somethings changed but your confused and you have o idea why. He stops putting effort in and you become clingy and feel like a pest every time you even just put "hi" to him, you come to a conclusion that its all your fault and he's mad at you for whatever you have done, so you ask him "why don't you speak to me no more? Have i done something wrong?" He just says "sorry baby, I've been busy" so you let it go, but for days after, maybe weeks, and hes still busy constantly! Every time you talk to him it becomes an argument, over the most stupidest things. You then stop putting the effort in thinking it works both ways, but it doesn't you just stop speaking, months go by and you still haven't spoken. He's fine without you. He has already moved on and your still mad, crying and upset. You still hope that one day he will pop up and everything will go back to how it was, but you know that will never happen, you now compare every other guy to him. He forgot about you a long time ago, and you still don't want to believe you got played, your having a hard time letting go but you have to. Now every girl reading this, is thinking about that one person.. Am i correct?

The word love is a very strong word..
And that’s why I never say it, unless I truly mean it...

having a long period din update ..
not because that i was busy ..
but lazy ..
i try to fit myself in the mood to preparing exam ..
but i still cant ...
every times i wanted to study ..
somethings juz pop up in my mind ..
past memories ..
recent feelings ..
other other else .. that affected me ..
i'm not trying to blame the one ..
which make me think much more thn ever ..
i juz cant handle those feelings anymore ..
i'm totally depressed with it ..
either hate or love it ..
i nvr know abt it ..
out of all ..
at least she is still cheering me up for my studies ..
somehow i really appreciate ..
there is still a person .. cheering me up ..
thank you ..